July was my last round of Clomid, and with everything that’s been going on lately, getting pregnant hasn’t really been my number one priority. I’m ready to start Clomid again in October, but I wonder if now is even a good time to get pregnant. Do I want to have to deal with a newborn and Bobby’s CLL? Is it selfish of me to want to keep trying to conceive right now? Am I putting too much stress on myself and ultimately Bobby? These questions swim around in my head all day long, and frankly, it’s exhausting. I just want everything to be okay. I want Bobby to be healthy. I want to give him the children he’s wanted for so long. I want things to, just for once, be easy.
Bobby had a CAT scan done this morning to rule out Lymphoma, and we went ahead and saw his Primary Doctor, who gave us a packet of recipes to nourish him and give him all the nutrients he needs. He reminded us that we ultimately become what we put in to our bodies.
Please just bear with me as I try to sort all of this out.